The Butterfly Effect! :D

if i had the power to change what has happened in the past, i would. i love these nights! movie nights!!! :DD i dont feel ignored! if im just going to be ignored i dont need your call. omg i love the movie the butterfly effect!!! it gets me sad!!! :[ i love "Stop Crying Your Heart Out by Oasis" this movie introduced meh to that song! but dang it! its soooo late! hahahs ughh!! :[ i need to catch up on my sleep soon. or just not pay attention to it. hehe. i miss you soo much. but yet you cant even call. it may be my fault or is, but before i always called no matter what, when i knew something was wrong. i bet you just talk about it. hah. how you just typed bye, with nothing in it. that made me happy. Ughh im sooo tired of school :[ no more school! no more school! pleaaase!! :[ hahahahs! damn it... i dont want to sing in a pageant show bc my voice it fucken ugly! :[ but since i guess you have no one really to turn to, i will sing with you in front of a huge audience :x :] hahahas damn it!!! :[ its not time to learn a new song! n try to sing the best i can!!! :[[ super long practices needed now!!!! hehehe ahhh hahahas. well i will now sleeep :D nigh nights!




















so many things just blocking out.. is it really a good thing to be happy when its all just a lie.

FUCK YOU!

ughhhh!!! fuck you head!!!! sdkl;fjaskl;djfl;asdj;l!!! i have a killer headache!!! :[[[ thanks QUYEN!!!!! ;[[ LOL!!!!!! juuuuuust kiiiiiidiiiinnng!! ;D i swear i didnt do (cheese) LOL!!!!! HAHAHAHAS!!!! damn it.. i have to go to a "meeting" in a bit.. but my head hurts sooo much!!! FUCK!!! like FUCK FUCK!!!! omg.... -_- stupid past... why does she always show me pictures of when i had long hair.. UGH ;[ hmm maybe now imma spend my nights doing this heheheheh :P

You Can't Help Me Anymore

no one can understand the pain. the hate. the feeling. the reason why people dont tell certain things is because they only care about the people that know. the only reason i was told one thing wasnt because _ cared as much to tell me. it was only because i dont matter as much. there is a pain that i somewhat share but totaly different. i tell a lot of people my problems. people usually just want to be heard, only want someone to listen to them. i dont care if anyone listens, i just want the help part. but if you cant understand what i have been through my whole life, how can you understand me.* lol its been running through my head idk why -_- hahas... fuck my life..

Stop Crying Your Heart Out

so many things running through my head right now! i feel like bursting!
but f everything! whatever. i dont want to think about it anymore.
sooo my tv is screwed :[ stupid dtv ]: no more tmz, king of queens and one on one<3
but w.e stupid tv hahas. i want summer to be here. maybe i might actually go to the
beach more often. i cant wait for the three exciting things that is going to happen!!
well that hopefully happen :[ but im not going to tell you what they are! hah!
LOL jk i will because i have nothing better to do LOL wait... yes i do! my love is calling
meh right now mauahahahs but i guess i will finish this... just this last thing
hmmm oh ya road trip!!!<3>
n RAGING WATERS!!!! WOOOSHA!!!! bye loves! ;D

I Know..

... :t


i remember when you didnt see me the same way.
i remember when i had just about given up.
i remember deciding if i should go to australia.
i remember the reason for not going.
i remember trying to prove a point about going to your house.
i remember i was proven wrong.
i remember not wanting to go.
i remember trying to avoid going.
i remember seeing you.
i remember it hurt.
i remember you flirting with me.
i remember flirting too.
i remember trying to hold your hand.
i remember you confused.
i remember you saying "you dont know"
i remember the pain that struck.
i remember not going to give up.
i remember it worked.
i know i love you.
i know its true.
i know your the star in my heart!<*3
... :* [:

Live Long And Prosper!

(^-^)'/|\/|) damnit im trying to make the Spock hand sign hehehhehe. so i have s t of a bad feeling about summer :[ not really sure what is going to happen. for a while now i have felt like i am losing myself there are times where i cant think straight anymore and i can get mad easily for like absolutely no reason at all. my emotions usually come out at night, like right now.. and i happen to break down -_-' i dont know why it happens but annoys me. i want to hit things really hard so i can forget about the other pain i feel in the inside, but i dont know what the pain is. i feel fat! i want to go run but like in the evening or sometime in the morning depending on my mood. i was never in shape but i miss how i felt like back in the days when i felt like i was in shape and my body somewhat seemed like it heheheheh. i have to start doing AB workouts but ehhh no me gusta doing them by myself LOL. im going to start to go to church during summer with my church buddy! i want to try to become more social! in college im either lazy, scared or dont even want to bother meeting new people. and ya...i want to go to disneyland!! ughhh! :t i make my life miserable when there is definitely no reason for it to be. i cant sleep, i cant sleep, i cant sleep, i cant sleep, i cant stop, i cant stop i cant stop, i cant stop thinking. oh got damnit! my computer froze!! right one "thinking." i hate my computer! but there is nothing i can do about it -_- oh wells. RAGING WATERS!!!! im scared of the big rides even if they are just water rides :[ i have a fear of heights :[[ LOL damnit but nooo im scared no matter what hahahs but i want to go to RAGING WATERS!!! :DDD i just feel like my love doesnt seem believable.. but whatever. i wish there was some way to see life without me ever existing. would people be happier? would have people gotten as hurt as much? whats more sad there is only about 3% of people that would care if they havent heard from me in a while. reasons why people dont know why i think about this is because im not crying out for anyones help. my life has been like this. i dont want people to feel like they have to talk to me or anything. i just keep that all inside me. i just hope in my life i can actually make at least one person proud of me. i dont know what else to put and i dont know what to do. so i guess now i well go off. bye <3>

ifu

You'll Never Be Alone Again!

Woke up to my dead cell phone which is now charging O: i want to call her right now! but i shall let her sleep n not bother her! :D hehe :[ LOL!!! damn... its coming really soon... where i wont be able to see her for the longest time.. its going to practically kill me, i should know because just thinking about it feels like bullets keep hitting my chest, where my heart is supposed to be. but luckily she has it with her! :] hhaahahs "heads or tails? TAILS! ... its tails... ughhh its awkward!" hahahahahahs stupid tails! LOL yesterday was funny!! n.. interesting? LOL!!! sooo i noticed that the closet in my room isnt the only thing that makes loud noises at night 0.0 the stand where the tv is at in the living room seems like there is a creature crawling over it!!! 0.0 :[[[ save me! hahas damn i made everything difficult! we arent going to see each other as much all because of me! damn it..



You Are The Star In My Heart! :*